In mid July I decided it was time to start exercising again. Oh, I had thought about it before that, but in July I finally set my mind to it and actually started. I had stopped sometime after G had started with his various troubles, about 2 summers ago, when it seemed that I would get to the gym and my cell phone would ring and I would need to go home. I could no longer walk along the trail near my house because I could not get home in a hurry if I was a mile or two away. I stopped exercising at home because I seemed to be interrupted every 15 minutes.
I know, one can exercise in 15 minute intervals, but it really wasn't working for me. I just gave up.
But this summer I was just tired of being tired. I want my stamina back, my energy back, and truthfully I wouldn't mind if the exercise helped me take off a few more pounds, but mostly I am just tired of being slow, weak and tired.
I finally managed to wean myself off the antihistamines in early July as well, after a 7 month battle with hives. Without medications that made me tired and groggy, or hives that made my feet swell and itch, exercise also seemed like a more promising option. I started slowly, and not perhaps as regularly as I should have. I skipped a few days when my step-son was here, partially because of scheduling issues, partly because of a couple of minor gluten incidents which brought back the hives, although I caught them early and dealt with them efficiently. That was my punishment for going along with something I did not think was a good idea just to be sociable and be a good hostess. Lesson (hopefully) learned.
Since the end of July though I have been more motivated and more determined to really stick to a schedule and push myself, exercising every day, because I know myself and know that if I allow myself to slack off now, before I am fully settled back into a routine, I will just continue to slack off. It was not always easy and I was often tired, falling into bed at night in complete exhaustion.
And then sometime last week something changed. I started feeling a little more energetic. I started feeling a little calmer. I started sleeping fewer hours, but far more soundly. At first I just couldn't go to sleep at night. I would be up until midnight, 1 or 2 AM and wide awake at 7. I kept telling myself that I needed to sleep more, although I obviously didn't; and I would get frustrated that I couldn't go to sleep earlier. One night, when G was particularly grumbly about my being up all night, I made myself go to bed at 11. I was awake at 5. It was dark out. I was not happy.
But then I suddenly realized that I could work out early, before breakfast, and if I got up at 5 or 5:30 I could get an entire long workout in before G woke up. I could even do an exercise tape or weight work without an audience or interruption. Suddenly I was eager to get up early and watch the sun rise. Suddenly, I was starting to have energy again.
I still have a long way to go, but I am seeing progress and it makes me want to go further and do more. I am reaching a point where it is easier to make myself exercise even when I don't want to do it. I am not yet strong, and I have a long way to go with the weights. I don't think I am up for my old loop around the Vanderbilt Estate, which is 3 3/4 miles round trip from my front door, and G isn't quite comfortable with my being out of touch, yet. But I am walking, and riding the exercise bike, and my knees are thanking me. And I have started strength training again.
I am not sure that I will always sleep 5 1/2 to 6 hours a night, but I am happy now as it is making the process easier for me. For many years after I went through menopause I slept 6 hours a night most nights. Actually I would go through 2 or 3 weeks of 6 hour nights, and then 2 to 3 days of 8 or 9 hour nights and repeat the cycle. I can't say I would object to that cycle should it recur. But mostly I am just happy because I feel my focus coming back. And that really is a good thing.