The world has not stopped, although at any given moment parts of it seem traumatized by events somewhere or another. I have not stopped venturing into the sewing studio either, even though at the moment there is not a great deal to show for my time or efforts. The studio is actually my sanctuary, a place where care, fear, and stress disappear. It is not that I have quite overcome the many-directional pulls of distraction, but in the end, it is not distraction that grounds us or provides meaning in life.
I did manage to get almost all the fabric unpacked, put on shelves, and catalogued. This is the first time in many years that everything is easily visible. I have to admit to being only "almost" unpacked because after going through all this, I found three banker's boxes of fabric in the basement, boxes which were never supposed to be in the basement in the first place. Alas there is no space on the shelves to unpack them so they remain in fabric purgatory, out of sight and out of mind until I at least sew something and clear some space.
There were other aspects of sorting and cleaning up going on -- beginning steps of creating a system, although no system is finished until it holds up to actual work. There is always a disconnect between the imaginary world of design and the real world. I am certain that any attempts at organization will go through upheavals and revisions, but for the first time really, I am beginning to see and feel a place, a haven really, to come into and let the work itself take center stage.
It feels good to be in the studio. The pressing table has seen more use as a photography station than for pressing of late. I expect it will continue to do double duty, at least until the yarn has been sorted and catalogued. At least the yarn has at least been corralled into a single space and I have catalogued and sorted enough for any short-term projects. I admit, it felt good to be taking photos, to put my hands on every piece of fabric, to satisfy my organizational demons. Conflicting emotions arose, every piece feeding both creative instincts and angst over the too-muchness of it all. The best I can do is admit that there was a period when George was ill and I was not sewing, a time when I consoled myself by buying fabric. I cannot say it was cheaper than therapy, I can say that what you see on the walls serves as my retirement fund, my wall of dreams, and a place of great calm. There is no point in fretting over the choices of the past, only in accepting that we each do the best we can. Whatever choices we make or fail to make, they are intimately woven into the fabric of who we are.
There has been a little mending here and there and more than a few alterations. Mostly no photographs were taken of same, and that is OK. I have attempted some embroidery as well, although for the most part my fingers are out of practice and not quite as adept as once they were, partially due simply to inactivity, partly due to repercussions following last year's chemo-induced neuropathy. I will move forward, regrets cast aside. Hopefully skills will improve. There is no point in life in dwelling on what I once could do, even as I realize that I should have celebrated more and fretted less.
I did buy a shade card set for Appleton wools, necessary for a crewel-embroidery project that is mostly still in the planning stages. Shown here on a piece of wool boucle that had been washed and partially felted. If anything I love the colors more after felting than in their original state. I was all gung-ho with excitement when I conceived of this project, but tiredness, arrhythmias, and life slowed me down, and it got put aside for a few weeks. Not to be concerned, there are several projects on my cutting table now and I want to work on all of them. Something will come of it all, even if that something is not quite what was initially envisioned.
This is the year for play after all. It is not the results that are important but the process of exploration, of doing, of experimentation. Who knows where it will all lead, and ultimately it is not really important if it leads anywhere at all.
